


Different

by sal_si_puedes



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode Related, First Time, Fix-It, Fix-it fic, Getting Together, M/M, Smut, all's well that ends well, episode 4x15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 04:16:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3474119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sal_si_puedes/pseuds/sal_si_puedes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what *I* think should be ep. 4x16. Or: How Mike and Harvey deal with what happened in Donna's apartment at the end of ep. 4x15 ("Intent").</p>
            </blockquote>





	Different

**Author's Note:**

  * For [naias](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=naias).



> I needed that! *sighs*
> 
> for naias, as always :-)
> 
> I'm [sal-si-puedes](http://sal-si-puedes.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Come and say Hi! :D 

"Yeah," Rachel grins and takes another sip from her glass of wine, winking at Mike across the table. "And then he got up and when she asked him why he said she knew why. And then he said that he loved her. And then—"

Mike doesn't hear anything more after that. For the last ten minutes or so, ever since Rachel has started to recount last night’s goings-on at Donna's apartment, the things Donna has told her in the file room earlier today, Rachel's voice has been slightly dimmed by the sound of blood rushing through his veins and the hammering sound of his suddenly rather quick pulse. But after that last sentence everything simply fades into white noise. Mike can see that Rachel's lips are still moving quickly but he doesn't realize it when they first stop smiling, gradually, and then moving, too. He doesn't realize that Rachel has fallen silent and then started to speak again, to say his name. Repeatedly. He doesn't realize any of that until she reaches across the table and touches his arm.

"Mike."

He blinks. Again, his name wafting across the table. He blinks again and shakes his head.

"Mike."

"Yeah," he murmurs and blinks again. "Yeah. What?"

Rachel’s face slowly comes back into focus and Mike can see that she has blanched and is staring at him with wide, glassy eyes.

"Oh my god," she whispers and bites her lips.

"What?," Mike asks again, his tongue thick and heavy in his mouth. He clears his throat. "What?"

She bites her lips again and nods. Tears begin to pool in her eyes and Mike doesn't understand why. He doesn't understand why she looks at him this way. "Rachel."

"I thought—" She pauses and reaches for her glass once more. "I mean—" The clink it makes when she sets it down again without having taken a sip is far too loud and strangely hollow. Like her words. "I always knew, from the beginning, but—"

"Knew what?" Mike's mouth feels so dry and he longs for a sip of water but he doesn't seem to be able to move his arms for some reason.

"How you felt," Rachel answers and tilts her head, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth. "I just thought—" She inhales sharply and closes her eyes for a moment. "I just thought that with time you'd—That we'd—" Shaking her head slowly, she falls silent. "Never mind," she whispers under her breath and straightens her back. "Never mind…"

Mike startles when he feels her hand on his. "Go."

"What?" Mike doesn't know what she's talking about and that's what he tells her. "What are you talking about?"

"Go," she repeats and rises from the table. "It's okay, Mike." Walking over to his side, a sad little smile spreads across her face and Mike hates it. He hates the sadness and the understanding in her eyes and he hates that he's the course for all of this.

"Rache, I—"

"It's okay," she says again, pulls him from his chair and steers him out of the kitchen. "Go."

"I—" Mike stops dead in his tracks in the living room and turns around. Everything feels as if it is happening in slow motion. Even his voice sounds off, slower somehow, like rancid oil. "I have to go."

"I know," Rachel says and Mike watches two tears rolling down her cheeks in perfect sync. "I know. It's okay."

*****

It takes Harvey a little eternity to open the door. It takes him so long that Mike begins to wonder if he's even at home or if he's at—But Raoul wouldn't have let him up if Harvey wasn't at home, so what's taking him so damn long? Mike knocks on Harvey's door again, first with his knuckles then with his palm flattened against the smooth surface and that reminds him of the first time he's knocked at Harvey's door, that night after the _Closing Bell_ , and he remembers Harvey in his night clothes and that image is so clear in Mike's mind even though he was drunk off his feet that night. He remembers the very first time a door has opened and Harvey had been on the other side, the day of the interview, and Mike's chest tightens. He knocks again and finally, finally the door swings open.

"Wha—" 

He pushes past Harvey and strides down the hallway, not looking back, but when he turns around next to the kitchen isle, Harvey is right behind him. He looks tired, Mike thinks, he looks like a ghost.

"Is it true?"

Mike expects Harvey to know what he's talking about, what he so desperately needs to know, and he is sure that it is a perfectly justified expectation, so when Harvey asks him "Is _what_ true?" all he can do for a while is stare at the other man in disbelief.

“Is it true?” Mike asks again and runs his fingers through his hair. “I need to know.”

When Harvey doesn’t answer and just walks over to the bar trolley in silence and pours two drinks, Mike’s shoulders sag and he sighs.

“I—I need to know, Harvey,” he murmurs. “Is it true?”

Harvey walks over to him, his chin slightly raised and the top two buttons of his white shirt open, holds out one of the glasses to him and tries to stare him down. Mike has to admit that it is working as he drops his gaze. “Is _what_ true?”

“What you said to her,” Mike whispers as he takes the glass from Harvey’s hand. “Is it true?”

“How do you know,” Harvey asks around the rim of his glass. “What I said to her?”

“Rachel,” Mike says and takes a sip from his drink. It burns in his throat and makes his eyes sting. “She told Rachel and Rachel told me. I—” His voice breaks and he brings his glass to his lips again. “Harvey, is it true?” He looks up and catches Harvey’s eyes but the look he finds there makes him avert his gaze again. It’s a yellow-and-black look, fluttering in the cold midnight breeze.

“It’s none of your goddamn business,” Harvey mutters and walks over to the sofa where he drops down heavily. 

“Harvey, please,” Mike says after a short while. “I—“

“I _said_ ,” Harvey cuts him short and the sharpness in his voice feels like a whip against Mike’s throat. “It’s none of your goddamn _business_.”

Mike nods and watches Harvey take a long swallow from his drink. He nods again, drains his glass and sets it down on the kitchen isle, ready to leave. He’s never felt so heavy in his life.

“It’s none of your fucking business,” Harvey says and his words startle Mike from his dull stupor and cause him to look up. “But yes. It’s true.”

“Oh.” Mike bites his lips and stares down at his hands. He must have picked up the glass again at some point of time because it is in his hands now, his fingers tightly clenched around it. For a brief moment he wonders if it could break in his grip. He should go. “And what about me?” Looking up once more he watches Harvey sit back, cross his legs and spread his arms out on the sofa’s back rest. He can see how the muscles in Harvey’s jaws tighten as he grits his teeth.

“What do you want from me, Mike?” He does that thing with his voice again, Mike thinks, where he smacks his consonants and lengthens his vowels almost to a drawl. At the same time there’s a flatness in his words, like there is in an ice-cold room with no echo at all. Mike flinches but he doesn’t back down.

“What about me?,” he asks again, his voice barely more than a whisper. 

“I told you,” Harvey answers flatly and clears his throat. “You’re different.”

Mike can feel himself nodding again and how the glass in his hands is turning in circles. “Harvey, I—“ He takes a tentative step forward but Harvey stops him in his tracks simply by rising from the couch.

“What do you want from me, Mike?” 

Mike’s head shakes slowly and he can feel his body tense when Harvey takes a step towards him. “I don’t know,” he whispers and closes his eyes. “I—I don’t know.”

“Then why are you here?” The held-back anger in Harvey’s words hits Mike like a punch in the gut. “Then what the _fuck_ are you doing here?”

“I—“ Mike swallows and clears his throat. “I just had to find out, I—“

“Mike,” Harvey interrupts and Mike swallows again. Harvey is obviously forcing himself to appear calm but he’s radiating a tension that triggers Mike’s flight instincts like nothing else. “Look, I’m tired. This has been a tough week for all of us and I think you should go now.”

“Yeah,” Mike says and begins to turn around but something Harvey has said earlier makes him stop. “How different?”

“What?” Harvey’s voice rises and he takes another step towards Mike. His brows furrow and he pushes his chin forward.

Mike stands his ground. “How am I different? You said—“

“I know what I said,” Harvey spits and Mike can see the vein in his throat throbbing. “I also said you should go.” His nostrils flare and Mike has to fight hard to keep eye contact. “Now.” Harvey’s eyes glitter dangerously and suddenly Mike recalls that Harvey is a boxer.

“No,” Mike says and raises his head a little. “Not before you tell me.”

“What do you want from me, Mike,” Harvey takes another step towards him and Mike feels like he did that day in that grey interrogation room all over again. Backed into a corner by the intensity and rage Harvey emanates. That life-threatening danger. “And don’t give me that ‘I don’t know’ bullshit again because that’s not going to be enough. Not after this.”

Mike stands his ground. “I—“ He clears his throat to get that hoarseness out of his voice but without success. “I want you to tell me the truth. About me. About how you fee—about how I’m different.”

“No,” Harvey says briskly and shakes his head once. “That’s not enough. What. Do. You. Want. From. Me?” 

They’re almost face to face now and Mike can feel waves of heat radiating from Harvey’s body. He can feel Harvey’s breath against his face and he can smell faint traces of alcohol and cologne. His eyes follow the vein in Harvey’s throat and watch how his heartbeat makes the hems of his shirt tremble. “I want to know,” Mike whispers and closes his eyes.

Once again, Harvey’s harsh voice shakes him to the core. “Go.”

All Mike can do is shake his head. “Tell me.”

“I said _go_.” Harvey’s words are nothing more than a low murmur but they resonate in Mike’s ears like the loudest of screams. He shakes his head again and whispers:

“Tell me. Please.”

“Fuck,” Harvey hisses and turns away. He picks up his glass from the coffee table and drains its remaining contents in one long swallow. Shaking his head he clenches his jaws and sets his glass down again so hard it almost breaks. “I don’t need this.”

Mike remains silent and stands his ground. He is also holding his breath and the lack of oxygen is beginning to make his head spin.

“You’re different,” Harvey presses through his teeth when Mike doesn’t budge. “Because you’re more.” He inhales sharply through his nose and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Because you’re fucking everything and I don’t need that.”

“Wha—“

“Shut up,” Harvey cuts Mike off and raises his hand. “I’m only doing this once so you better fucking listen.”

Mike nods and holds up his hand as well. “Okay.”

“When I thought Donna could go to jail, when I think of anything happening to her, the thought of losing her… her faith—She’s my best friend, Mike, and she’s my _family_ for all I know and I—And that thought makes me sick to my stomach.“ Harvey pauses and walks over to the bar trolley to refill their glasses. Mike’s eyes follow him and both their hands are shaking when he takes the glass he’s being offered.

“The thought of anything happening to _you_ , the thought of losing _you_ —I can’t even _go_ there. I can’t even go _anywhere near there_ , I literally _can’t_. So I _don’t_. _Ever_. Simple as that. Because if I did, if I did that just _once_ , I could never—“ He closes his eyes and takes a deep swallow from his glass, chuckling around its rim mirthlessly. “That’s why you’re different, Mike, and I don’t need that. Not when you…” His voice trails off and he takes another sip of scotch. “I don’t need that.” He turns away from Mike and sets his glass down on the trolley. “So. Now go.”

“No,” Mike murmurs, his mind still reeling with what he’s just heard. He leaves his glass on the kitchen counter and walks up behind Harvey. Harvey’s back is still turned towards him and he can see how the muscles underneath the thin fabric of his shirt tense when Mike approaches. How they freeze for a second right before Harvey turns around to face Mike.

“What else do you want from me now, Mike?” Harvey sounds bone-tired all of a sudden. “What else?”

Mike’s hand trembles as he reaches out and cups Harvey’s jaw. Harvey flinches ever so slightly but he doesn’t pull away. He just keeps looking at Mike, breathing shallowly.

“I want you to go there,” Mike says and runs his thumb over Harvey’s cheek, the slightest of stubbles grazing his skin. 

“No,” Harvey shakes his head and he sounds so final and calm, Mike’s knees go weak and his hand drops from Harvey’s face. 

“With me,” Mike hurries to add and forces his lips into a smile. “I mean, together.”

“What are you saying?,” Harvey asks cautiously, tilting his head ever so slightly.

There it is, Mike thinks and exhales shakily. It has taken him a little more than an eternity, but Harvey has decided to open the door for him once more and Mike knows that he will never forget this moment and how Harvey looks right now for the rest of his life. His smile becomes genuine and he raises his hand again, brushing his thumb over Harvey’s soft lips.

“I’m saying,” he smiles and reaches for Harvey’s arm with his other hand, pulling the other man a little closer. “That your secret is safe with me. That _you_ are safe with me. That you will never lose me.”

“Mike—“ Harvey stiffens under Mike’s touch but the smile on Mike’s face doesn’t falter.

“I’m saying that I want to go there. With you.” He closes the distance between their faces and places a gentle kiss on Harvey’s lips. Withdrawing a little he catches Harvey’s eyes and holds his gaze for a second or two before he kisses Harvey again. Harvey’s lips are soft and pliant against his and when the tip of Mike’s tongue darts out tentatively, they open to that gentle caress and Harvey lets out a sound that’s something between a huff and a groan. He sounds as if someone has stabbed him in the back, Mike thinks and he breaks the kiss to look at him again.

“What about Rachel?,” Harvey asks quietly and averts his gaze.

“She knows.” Mike cups Harvey’s face again and searches for Harvey’s eyes. “She let me go.”

Harvey nods subtly and when Mike feels that a hand comes to rest on his hip, he has to close his eyes for a moment. “Harvey,” he breathes and he can feel himself blush.

“Are you sure about this?” Harvey asks and his voice forces Mike to open his eyes and look at him again. “You better be so damn sure about this.”

“I am,” Mike says and takes a deep breath before he repeats with an even firmer voice. “I am.”

Harvey nods and stares into Mike’s eyes for a few more moments before he nods again and touches his lips to Mike’s.

Their kiss starts slow and tender but it grows deeper and more passionate with every breath they take and even more with every breath they skip. When Harvey shifts his position and his groin brushes against Mike’s it truly hits Mike for the first time that he can finally actually have this. That Harvey is right here, warm and solid in his arms, and that a few layers of cloth are all that is left between them. For a moment there he wonders if Harvey might break in his hands but just the fraction of a second later he knows that he would never let that happen. He presses himself closer against Harvey and when a low moan breaks its way from Harvey’s chest and gives their hungry kisses another taste entirely, Mike’s knees do give in and he sags against Harvey’s body, yielding to the force of gravity, pulling Harvey to the floor as well, desperate to lie down with him. 

Harvey drops to his knees, frantically undoing Mike’s tie and the buttons of his shirt. His breath is hot and wet against the sensitive skin of Mike’s throat and when he bites down all Mike can do is tilt his head to give Harvey more access, to expose more of his throat and shoulder to the other man. 

“God, Harvey,” Mike moans as Harvey bites and licks and kisses and sucks his way down Mike’s throat and chest and when Harvey’s teeth close around his nipple and pull at it slightly, Mike’s hips jerk forward and he has to steady himself with a hand on Harvey’s hip. “Oh god—“ He reaches for Harvey’s groin and begins to fumble with the button and zipper of his trousers. A throaty moan escapes his lips when he feels Harvey doing the same to him.

They struggle out of their clothes as quickly as they can, never stopping the kisses and touches and when they’re finally naked they cling together, wrapped around each other, arms and legs and thoughts, right there on the floor and they lie still for a while, just breathing together rapidly and savoring the sensation of their hard cocks pulsing against each other. When Harvey’s dick twitches and strains against Mike’s and a drop of pre-come oozes from its slit and touches Mike’s lower belly, Harvey stifles his moan by burying his face against Mike’s shoulder. “Jesus, Mike,” he hisses when Mike’s dick twitches in return and the muscles in Mike’s back and legs flex. He tightens his hold on Mike and takes a deep breath. “We need—“

“Where?” Mike pants and flexes his muscles again, causing his and Harvey’s erections to slide against each other maddeningly. “God.”

“Bedroom,” Harvey moans and mirrors Mike’s movements, slowly undulating his hips against Mike’s, setting a slow, steady rhythm. 

“Hmmm,” Mike digs his fingers into the muscles of Harvey’s back and echoes Harvey’s moan. “Don’t wanna stop.” He lets his hands wander down his spine and cups Harvey’s butt with both hands, pulling the other man even closer against himself, his words slurred and breathy. “Wanna make you come.”

“Fuck,” Harvey hisses and sucks a purple mark into Mike’s soft, pale skin. “God, yes—“

“Yeah—“ Mike speeds up his movements and arches his back. “Yeah—“

“Wait.” Harvey stills his hips and moans low in his throat when Mike keeps moving underneath him. “Wait, wait, _wait_ —“

“Waited long enough,” Mike murmurs and catches Harvey’s face so he can pull him in again for more passionate kissing. “God, _so long_ —“ 

Harvey moans into their kiss and Mike thinks for a moment that he might get his way but Harvey is not having any of it. He breaks their kiss and locks eyes with Mike.

“I want to be inside you when I come.”

Mike swallows thickly before he nods. “Then let’s hurry,” he whispers and shifts under Harvey, pushing the other man up. “Please.”

They scramble to their feet, getting caught in the legs of their trousers and almost tripping, and they make their way through the living room kissing and touching constantly. When they’re almost at the bedroom’s doors Mike is _this close_ to dragging Harvey down to the floor with him again, unable to wait any longer, but Harvey takes another deep breath and leads Mike the last few feet into the bedroom and to the bed. He quickly yanks the covers off and maneuvers Mike into the middle of the mattress, leaning over him, his knees on either side of Mike’s left leg. Reluctantly, he breaks their kiss and reaches over to the bedside table, retrieving a heavy glass jar and a small foil package from its drawer.

“I want,” he pants as he opens the jar and coats his fingers with the clear gel inside, “I want to do this all slow and thorough and I want to take my time to savor every inch of you. Over and over again.”

Mike opens his knees and arches his back when Harvey brings his hand between his legs and a keening sound falls from his lips when Harvey’s fingers run along his crack and brush over his entrance.

“I want to taste you everywhere and touch you everywhere, all slow and thorough, but—“ He stops the teasing circles around the rim of Mike’s hole and breaches Mike’s body with first one and then almost immediately after two fingers. “But I can’t do that now.” He pushes his fingers deep into Mike’s tight heat and spreads them ever so slightly when he withdraws them again. “I _can’t_. I’m not going to be able to hold back once I—“ He pushes his fingers into Mike again, all the way to the knuckles and the look on his face makes Mike bite his lips so hard he tastes blood. 

“Next time,” he moans when Harvey crooks his fingers and pulls them out again a little to scissor them and spread Mike open. “Do that next time, then.”

“Yeah,” Harvey nods and reaches for his straining erection with his other hand. “Next time—“

Mike watches Harvey fist himself, watches him fuck his own hand and his fingers spreading pre-come over the tip of his dick and when he clenches his muscles around Harvey’s fingers it’s his body begging Harvey for more. “Yeah—“

Harvey withdraws his fingers, wipes them quickly against the sheets and reaches for the condom. He tears its package open and rolls it over his dick quickly, holding his breath. With a swift movement he coats his fingers with lube again and slicks himself up and Mike can’t take his eyes away. They follow Harvey’s hand when it reaches for the lube again and they only lose sight of it when it disappears between his legs once more, coating his entrance with yet more of the cool gel.

“Say—“ Harvey positions himself between Mike’s legs and holds his dick just so that its tip barely touches Mike’s hole. “Say that you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” Mike replies without any thought of hesitation and the intensity with which he means it takes his breath away. “Who else’s would I be?”

Harvey takes a deep breath, closes his eyes and pushes forward. Mike can feel himself stretch around Harvey’s length and he can feel his body opening up to Harvey inch by inch with a slight burn that goes straight to his own throbbing cock.

“God yes,” Mike moans once Harvey is fully sheathed. Harvey lowers himself down until they are chest do chest and Mike can feel him nodding against his throat. 

Harvey raises his head and brings their mouths together for another wet, messy kiss. He flexes his hips and pushes himself even further into Mike’s tight heat and Mike can feel Harvey pulsing and twitching inside of him. He can feel him tremble with the effort to hold back and his throat constricts at that sensation. He clenches his muscles around Harvey’s shaft and a shiver runs through Harvey’s body.

“Harvey,” he whispers against the other man’s lips, clenching his muscles again, and Harvey raises his head a little more.

“I’m going to come,” he tells Mike and moans when Mike’s dick twitches between their bodies. “If you do that again you’ll make me come.”

“God, yes,” Mike moans and shifts a little, nodding when Harvey bites his lips.

“Not yet,” Harvey pants and takes a deep breath. “Let me fuck you a bit before—Before I come.”

All Mike can do is spread his legs further and arch his back and when Harvey props himself up on his one hand and reaches for Mike’s hips with the other, he tosses his head back and closes his eyes.

Harvey starts to move in and out, causing the most delicious kind of friction to Mike’s hole, and soon after he speeds up and up until he’s pounding into Mike _hard_ , shaking with need and arousal. 

Mike is moaning continuously now, overwhelmed by sensations, and when he reaches for his dick between their bodies it only takes him three, four strokes until the wave crests and he spurts long white strands of release over his fingers and his stomach. When one spurt of his come hits Harvey’s skin, Harvey stills completely and swallows hard and when he lets out a shaky breath with a hint of a moan Mike thinks he can feel him emptying himself inside of him. The look on Harvey’s face when he comes burns itself into Mike’s memory within a nano-second and it makes Mike forget how to breathe. It’s a look of such intense and utter concentration, of such awe-inspiring openness that in just a single instant Mike _gets_ it. He gets everything. He gets why Harvey is so guarded around others. He gets why his walls are always, always up. He gets why they have to be and he gets why Harvey made him say he’s his earlier and that there is no going back after this, not ever. He can feel himself being utterly and finally destroyed, taken apart down to his core by that look and then rebuild a new man. He only dimly realizes that he is falling, that he is tumbling into another orgasm and his hand lets go of his cock as his second release washes over him. He only dimly realized that Harvey lowers himself down again and gathers him into his arms, murmuring soft words of encouragement and praise against his sweaty skin. He only dimly realizes that his hands are tightly fisting the sheets and that he’s shaking his head again and again and that there’s a stream of incoherent words falling from his lips, words of _Harvey_ and _oh god, oh god_ and _no, no, no_ and _oh god, yes_ and he only ever comes back to his senses when Harvey slips from his body and brushes his hair from his sweaty forehead.

“Mike,” Harvey whispers and places a soft kiss on Mike’s swollen lips before he reaches down and quickly disposes of the condom. His fingers are a little sticky when he strokes Mike’s face and Mike turns his head so he can taste them. When Harvey withdraws them from Mike’s mouth again and gently runs them over his lips and down his chin and throat, they leave little wet traces and Mike moans.

“You okay?” Harvey asks quietly, resting his palm against Mike’s rapidly rising and falling chest. 

“More than okay,” Mike replies, smiling, but a small frown furrows his brows when he notices how much he is slurring his words. “More than okay,” he repeats and reaches for Harvey’s face. “Can I stay the night?”

“Mike,” Harvey says and kisses Mike’s lips quickly before reaching to the side and pulling the covers over them. “You can stay as long as you like.”

“Hmmm,” Mike hums as he snuggles up to Harvey’s side. He buries his nose against Harvey’s skin where his throat meets his shoulder and inhales deeply. “Good.”

“Yeah,” Harvey whispers, closing his eyes. “Good.”

 

~fin~

**Author's Note:**

> The amazing Fiona ([fionafusuits](http://fionafusuits.tumblr.com/)) did [this incredible illustration for "Different"](http://fionafusuits.tumblr.com/post/119704954422/an-illustration-for-aquas-fic-different). I can't begin to tell you how much I love it! Thank you SO much, Fiona!!


End file.
